Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
