Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
