would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize