Apparently you make a good broom.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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