If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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