I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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