he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
did you just send me my own nude
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
