My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
