She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
