Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Barsexuality is the new black.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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