Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
