If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this just has baby written all over it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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