none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
