I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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