North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."