speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.