paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.