How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
