Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize