allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
