YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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