i barfeds in our rink
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize