haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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