Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think my moral compass just broke
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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