I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line