I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
