I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..