..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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