i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
