Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize