there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
