Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize