what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize