i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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