dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
