on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
