I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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