last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Fuck appropriateness.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
