I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize