He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
