She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
