dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
