we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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