Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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