About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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