we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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