my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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