Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
