He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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