he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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