Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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