And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize