no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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