Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
