Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize