There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
