and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
