The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
