I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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