Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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