Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize