Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
