Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
