I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.