try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
