Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
